Goodbyes never said.

Death seems so final to me right now in life.
It scares me.
It scares the shit out of me.
The thought of losing someone close to me is scary.
Losing anyone I've ever known is scary too.
That moment when you find out something happened, something that you had no clue about.
It's like a sinking feeling. Like you world has toppled over.
Faking that smile when it feels wrong.
Time moves on but it doesn't at the same time.
It's the last moment you had with the person.
It fills your mind and stays there.
But the last moment gets mixed with all the memories
or feelings
 or even just how you thought of that person.

She was there for parts of my life, made sure I got home safe.
Protected me.
I'll never get to thank her for being a positive person in my life.
She cared. She was one of the most caring person I've never known. Taking care of what was hers and even what wasn't.
She raised one of the best in this world.
Her daughter was there when I had no one.
When I had dark thoughts that wouldn't go away at night. That would fallow me day in and day out.
She raised a person who is going to better this world. Just like she did.
Thank you.

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