Why the rush?

Everything in my life lately has been rushed lately.
Rushing to be on time.
Rushing to get your projects done.
Rushing to finish cleaning your room.
Rushing to get that first kiss
Rushing to get married.
Rushing to grow up.
I don't want to grow up.
I'm 19 going on 20.
That doesn't mean I have to know what I want to do in life.
It also means that I can make dumb mistakes and learn from them.
Why can't the world just slow down a little longer?
Why didn't I listen to those older kids when I was younger?
Oh, thats right! Because I wanted to rush.
My goal for the next couple of months is to stop.
Stop and think for a minute.
Stop and take a freaking picture.
Stop and take the time to say thank you.
And most importantly say I love you.

I'm in love with the song

 

Moving Too Fast by Charity Vance

Sometimes you have to grow up, even if it's just for a day at a time
Or a Saturday rhyme
Sometimes trees get taller,we watch and admire 
As little boys turn into men
Behind our backs, moving too fast, 
The world spins

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Freeing

All I have to say is thank you.
Thank you SO much Maddie.
You let me, be me and didn't call me a ho ;)
Whatever happens in the future. We will work through it!
I love you so much and appreciate your friendship A LOT. To the point of over coming my fears and being open.
Lets go forth and grab every shooting start that has our wishes hanging from them
(Could I be any more cheesyer?)
(Give me a break...it's early in the morning)

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Starting over

Sometimes I feel like crap. I feel like I'm going no where in live and I feel burned out! 
When I get in these moods I have NO CLUE what to do with myself. 
So this time I decided to write down a list of the things that make me happy,  no matter what! 

First thing you gotta remember is... it's okay to feel bad. Your feelings are YOURS. No one can tell you that their wrong or ridiculous. 

Take the day off. If you are like me and hate people when you don't feel happy, give yourself ONE day of just chilling and being alone. The longer I'm left alone, the happier I am!

Next step is MUSIC. Put on some freaking music. Like no joke. Just like the 90% of the rest of the world, music helps people feel better! I REALLY liked this play list the last time http://8tracks.com/silentsoul/pick-me-ups

READ A HAPPY STORY. Okay...this one might not work for everyone. BUT it works SO well for me! A happy story is like a drug. Give me one and I'll be a different person in 30 minutes. (Love stories work best for me ;) )

Another idea, talk it out. Just keep talking about it to your friends. No joke, it took me 6 different friends this last time. Not all of them will make you feel better, BUT you'll find someone who will. (I couldn't be more thankful for my friends this time around.)

Binge do something. Pick something you want to do and BINGE IT. I played 22 hours of a wii game with one of my best friends. It was SUPER helpful. She let me just be mean! (Fighting games work the best, LOVE hitting people when I'm angry)

TAKE A WALK. If I was at home with my puppy, we would have taken a 2 hour long walk. Just walk away from the problem. It WILL make you feel better! 

Last but not lest. Throw your hair up, put tons of make up on! Pick an outfit that you wouldn't normal wear( but want to) and dance around your room to that music. CLEAN(Love cleaning when I have too much on the mind! )

AND take some silly pictures like me ;)

You should feel better in NO time! Hope you have a better day! 

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temper tantrums

I have been so worked up lately. I just want to scream and run away. But I can't.
It's moments like this where I wish I was someone else. I wish I didn't have expectations. I wish people wouldn't judge me for five minutes and go "Dianne, your so much better than that." or "Don't be petty."
What if I want to be petty? What if my whole life I've tried to do the right thing (For the most part) and WANT to be dumb and stupid??
But no, I can't do that without everyone making me feel like the worst person on earth! I'm SO sick of it. I just want to have huge tantrum! I wanna run around and keep saying no like a 2 year old. I would KILL to be a 2 year old right now.  It's like 3o pound weight that on my shoulders and I want to shake it! But I can't.
I guess I'm writing this as a way of getting it out. But its really not working.

^That is how I feel right now. 

Well, I'm going to research more ways to cool off...because I REALLY need it. 

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I did it.

Earlier this week I had thoughts of "How am I going to do this" or "It's never going to work" or "I can't"
BUT I DID IT.
My photography project has been stressing me out like no other BUT I DID IT.
It took 6 hours in the lab and only getting one photo done. Then the next day I got 3 photos done in only 4 hours! It was the best feeling EVER. There might have been a couple of happy dances!!!
Anyways, if your having a week feeling like you CAN'T do it. Turn that can't into CAN!

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Moments.

So while I'm sitting here painting my nails...the morning before a big test. I should be studying but yet I just had a really interesting thought. I've never really questioned why I wanted to be a teacher. I love it. I love watching that look that someone gets in their eyes when they finally understand. Knowing that, that person has something to themselves that no one can ever take away from them. I love that feeling.

My whole life I've always been the more "slow" one. The one that needs the extra time or the help. I'm always going to be that person. But I wanted to take the time to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has ever had to explain something to me. Or even wait for me. Those moments might have only been moments but they made me who I am today. If it wasn't for people showing me that I can learn and people will help and wait, I wouldn't want to be a teacher.

 I want to give that to someone else. I want someone somewhere to understand that YOU can be whoever you want.

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